Teen Mom OG

Oh My Amber......

Amber is about to have a birthday and she isn't too thrilled that it is coming up....all she wants is Honey Boo Boo to come to the house to celebrate with her but alas, it is not her weekend to have Honey Boo Boo..... what will happen?

Matt has decided to invite Gary, via text, to come in hopes that he will bring Leah, and all will be happy in Amber's world. Gary talks to his wife and she plays the innocent "What do you think" card to Gary. I am NOT falling for it. Simply because, this woman's life is a HOT mess in reality and just because the camera is on, I am not believing you are all PRO Amber. Anywho, Gary does go to the birthday, with Honey Boo Boo, Wifey and new baby (that could be Leah's twin- strong genes Gary). 

While Leah is out getting her nails did (see what I did there), the party is being set up....but that sneaky Leah is so smart. That gurl figured out all those cars parked outside meant a party on the inside! She didn't know her cell mate would be there though, and POOF, here comes the tears. They were the "only ones" to get out. Wow. Just Wow. 

Farrah

Farrah and Sophia ("baby" as Grandma Debra calls her) are repeating what Farrah did growing up. A family trip to Hawaii. Let's hope this the only thing that Sophia copies from momma Farrah. Farrah's mother Debra and her "Michael" are in attendance. The crew keeps having her family ask her where the lovely and kind Simon is at. Even though we broke the 8th wall or something down, I wished we would have stopped the dumb questions: Do you still miss Daddy Derek. SHUT UP. Putting my head down and about to drink a 5th glass of wine to go with all this mess! 

Ok, well....long story short.... Simon shows up. Farrah is going to make him pay. I promise you. While little UniBrow drives the boat, Farrah insists that Simon tell UniBrow what a great job she is doing. He doesn't speak up loud enough. Mistake #1 buddy. Simon repeats himself, and it's still not good enough. Oh No. Mistake #2 is about to get ugly. The questions begin: "Aren't you happy, aren't you in to me"...yada yada yada. Really, I am almost not believing this is real. I mean... can a man REALLY be into her when she is this evil?? 

Long story short, Farrah wakes up, Simon is gone on a motorcyle, she kicks him out for the 7,356,133th time and he is like "cool". Farrah No Cry = Farrah evil porn robot.

Puff Puff Pass Catelynn

Catelynn is going to the depression clinic. Hope it's not the same one that Leah went to because you come out addicted to "pain killers' {Cough= meth} Tyler is sad. The baby Nova is gone to April's house. Not sure how good of an idea THAT is considering ol' granny was getting high last week in the minivan with Cate. Wait. Does this mean that Tyler doesn't have to share his "roaches" in the bong while Cate is gone? Maybe he is crying HAPPY tears. I am now watching the show thru squinted eyes. 

Tyler has to go pay some guys for the work they did on the new house, might be his drug dealer.....again....squinted eyes on you Tyler. 

He says his good byes to Cate, lots of tears. Nova doesn't care, she is ready to go walk, and wants everyone to stop crying and smoking and screaming. Come home soon Momma Cate. 

Passed Out Maci

Maci plays with that cute little Jade. Maci says Jade is going to mean to the new baby Maverick....but I don't think so. She looks like an adorable little baby. Maci and her man....what is his name. I shall call him Bearded Texan. Bearded Texan and Maci have yet another dinner alone. Where do these parents get the time to eat alone so much? Every. Single. Episode! At dinner, Maci and Tyler decide they want a BIGGER house. As we all know in MTV world, that means it is already bought and finalized. And POOF!! There it is. It is a trailer....or manufactured home. I can't tell.

 It's something. Ryan comes over to check it out and is all "looks big" and Maci replies "yeah, like a 1,000 square feet more". Great. Goodie. Whatever. Boring. Have the kid soon. Then another to even it out. No one wants 3! Four for Maci sounds great!! 

Bearded Texan gets a new tattoo with the new baby's name MAVERICK on his arm. I noticed he had a Bentley one on there. That is sweet. The producer was like "what if it's not a boy" and they aren't having it. Probably because the baby is already born. Another lie on the LONG list that Maci is handing to us this season.

Ok. That was this weeks Teen Mom OG. I plan to TRY to do the shows that I watch regular. This week will be American Horror Story, ID's JonBenet special, Sister Wives and Don't Be Tardy. I will add when Walking Dead returns, Vampire Diaries and as always...anything Bachelor.